Monday, May 23, 2016

A Year in Review Part 4: Religion

This post is probably going to be the shortest of my posts so far.

I wasn't sure if this was important to list as one of my biggest changes this year but then I realized how much my faith has affected me as a person.

I was baptized Mormon at 17. I thought it was the right choice. I prayed about it. I love my connection with Heavenly Father but I wanted to love me and sex was my opportunity to finding out who I was.

Sex before marriage is a big no no to Mormons.

I think I shocked a lot of people who went to my ward with me. I don't think it was expected because I was such a good Mormon.

But I wanted to do porn and I had to choose between my religion and my desire to be fucked by big dicks on camera. I chose the latter.

I don't know if I regret leaving the church or not. I'm just trying to figure myself out.

Xoxo,
Callie L Klein

Thursday, May 19, 2016

A Year in Review Part 3: Love/Heartbreak

I don't usually talk about my love life. I've never felt comfortable with opening up about it- especially to the whole world. So I always get choked up whenever I'm asked in interviews about my love life. It's easier to just go with the sugar coated version. But after some debate; I decided to make this post about one singular man because he helped shape me into the woman I am today. I only ask to not be judged about this story. I still hurt over it. *names have been changed

I met Matt* when I was 10 and he was 12. It was only for a day but I never forgot about him and I guess he never forgot either. We never talked after that day- we were both so young that meeting someone didn't mean the instant exchanging of numbers or adding each ther on snapchat (sc hadn't even been invented then) Then I got older and remembered him so I looked him up on Facebook. If you don't know Matt; you wouldn't know how much he hates Facebook. He never goes on but faith was in our favor. We both were on Facebook at the exact time. He messaged me and asked for my number to which I reciprocated.

Matt and I had a lot in common- we liked all the same things but our personalities were very different. He was the stoner type- go with the flow and avoided arguments like the plague. I on the other hand; I was sassy, strong-willed, and up tight. Opposites attract I guess. Our personalities didn't clash- they complimented on another. Matt was older and serious about what he wanted in life. I wasn't. I didn't know what I wanted. That was always the problem.

I loved Matt with my whole soul. He and I were soul mates. We were written in the stars. But that didn't change how I felt. Matt offered me an uneventful life. We would get married, have children, and grow old together. I wanted adventure. I wanted more. I needed more. And one day I woke up realizing he could never give me what I needed.

It tore me apart when I ended it. I still loved him and some days I am reminded about how much I still love him. I remember the soul crushing agony I felt in my bones when I said goodbye. I remember how I felt it so physically that I collapsed and broke down in hot, salty tears. I didn't think the tears would ever end. They still come out- like right now. I'm crying and my heart is aching.

I don't regret leaving Matt. I know I say I do but because we broke up; I was able to become the woman I am today. It hurts so much sometimes. I wish things could've been different. I hope he's happy and I hope he will find another girl to love him more than I could. I wanted things to just go back to us being friends but when both people believe you were soul mates that were written in the stars; things never end up clean. It's always messy.

The breakup made me take a look at my life and how it was going. I knew I was meant for something big- whatever it was. The breakup indirectly led to me entering the industry. Not in a negative way FYI.

Matt and I still talk. I don't know if we still love each other or not but we both know that we aren't good for each other. At least right now.  I try and keep my distance from him though- talking frequently causes the wound to be ripped open. I'm just starting to rebuild those stitches.

The breakup added gasoline fuel to the old me. All that's left is ashes.

Xoxo,
Callie L Klein

A Year in Review Part 2: Confidence

I grew up with a lot of shame and self hatred. I didn't love myself.

I don't know what exactly started my self loathing but I started feeling worthless when I was 10. And as the years went on; the deeper the hate went. At one point it got so bad that I refused to let anyone love me or love anyone. I didn't think I was worthy of anything. My self hatred led to my break up with my fiancé- who I still care about but my heart was never really there. It's hard to fix that kind of problem. 

When I turned 18 in July; I was still feeling pretty poorly about myself but I considered it a normal hate. I figured everyone hates themselves a little because that's all I've ever known- hatred. The only time I felt better about myself was when I was reading a book. Books took me to a world where I could be anyone I wanted. And I didn't want to be me. 

Months passed and my feelings started loosening. I began to think positive thoughts about myself but it wasn't until I started camming; when I realized how much love my heart could have for myself. I learned through camming about the grace every woman possesses. And how all women are strong and unique. 

Everyday I wrote 5 NEW things about myself that I either liked or loved. It sometimes took me a few hours to get 5 things out down. And it was painful. I wanted to love the parts of myself that I hated the most. I wanted to stop looking in the mirror and feeling broken. So I kept at it. Then I started finding songs and quotes that made me feel good. I wrote them down in my diary. 

I stopped caring about how big my hips were and how big my ass was. The stretch marks on my thighs didn't matter anymore. My hair stopped annoying me. My nose size didn't bother me. I focused on the positive. I loved the way my hips moved when I walked and I liked how my face would light up whenever I smiled. Those were the things I wrote down. 

My confidence was growing but I still cared what others thought. Then I got into porn. And one day; I woke up. Nothing else mattered except what I thought and what I believed. I became the sole object of love for the first time. Things people said had no affect on me. I remember that day very specifically. It was the day people found out I did porn. 

I was somewhat scared of my newfound confidence so I wasn't sure how to address everyone. I left most people's messages read but empty. I answered some but in terse words. Then I talked to my agents and they encouraged me to take control of the situation. So I did. I went on Facebook and made a long post about being in porn. 

Ever since then; I refuse to be censored. I talk freely about anything. I don't care about deleting negative people. Crappy comments I read EVERYDAY about myself don't bother me. It's because I know who I am and as long as I know that; nobody's opinion on me will matter. 

My confidence has changed me radically. I've lost friends because of it- a lot of people wanted me to stay the same insecure, negative girl I had been all my life. But then I gained friends- friends who love and support me for being me. I used my confidence to be more comfortable about my sexuality. I never knew what a little confidence can do for someone. It can change their life. It changed mine. 

I know this post is probably sad but I felt like I had to be said. I want people to know me. I'm not hiding in the shadows anymore. This is me. Love or hate me- I'm not going anywhere. 

Xoxo,
Callie L Klein

P.S. I added pics of my Facebook post.

Sunday, May 15, 2016

A Year in Review Part 1: Sexuality

It's been a year since I graduated from high school and a year since I left my good girl image to burn. 

If you met me a year ago; you would've been shocked about the person I've become. Everything I stood for, everything I believed in, and all the rules I obeyed; have changed. I've became the person I always wanted to be and more. I am not the person I grew up being- I'm completely different. My old self is somewhere in the past and I do not intend on returning to. 

Probably the most drastic change I've gone through is the awakening of my sexuality... Which I hear everyday- it's just so different. The reasoning is because I was so ashamed of myself as a person and myself as a sexual being that I kept it inside and only revealed it to a select few. Now; I'm open and unashamed and completely unapologetic with my sexual appetite. 

And it's all because of the first time I fucked in a car with an army guy who was only in town for a few days. I was still a good girl but when he showed interest; I was ready to become a deviant. The sex that night was so good that it's still in the top 10 of the best sex I've ever had. It sparked a sexual craving I didn't know existed. After that; all I wanted was dick. I wanted it in my mouth and inside of me. I wanted it everyday and I wanted it hard. I was a bit aggressive in my endeavors for the cock. I would make it a goal to seduce a new guy every week. Sometimes they could get the pussy when other times they only got the mouth. I made sure both (mouth/pussy) were pleasurable so they would come begging back- I wanted the power. Pussy power. And I dangled that shit over guys heads very well. 

But I had no interest in love- love was dead. It disappeared after my failed engagement. I had decided that I was destined for a life without love and the moment I decided that; my sexual appetite went from a small fire into an inferno. I was having sex with my bosses, coworkers, professors, best friends, random dudes at parties, and my favorite kind of guy to fuck- military men. 


I was sleeping with older men even though I was only 17. I didn't care. I was on a sexual conquest. And on my 18th birthday; I spent the whole night fucking a guy I met a few days earlier at my job. He was tall, attractive, and had a sexy cute smile. He happened to work in the same mall as I did- which is how we met. I knew he wasn't my usual type- he was a pretty boy. He wasn't rugged and he wasn't in the military but I was curious as to what he could offer me. And luckily for me; the seduction was very easy. Unfortunately for me; he can very quickly so I had to fake my orgasm. it was very depressing.

I became a bad girl when a guy from high school contacted me out of nowhere. He just wanted to hang out. And I didn't see the problem with that but I guess his intentions were always clear- I didn't know that. He seduced me and I had never really been seduced before so I didn't know how to react but to go along with it. The relationship was strictly friends with benefits but lasted over 3 months and ended in disaster. This guy burned my old self to a crisp. I could've been upset but it gave me such a rush. I wanted to be bad. 

I then started to cammodel which gave me HUGE sexual confidence. 

The next guy I was with was a guy who lived on his own with his two cats. I never cared for him really- and I still don't. I don't find him an appealing human being but he offered me freedom. And I moved in for about a week before I ended up moving out of my house completely and into my new place (where I live now). Every night we fucked and every morning we fucked. I was in sexual heaven but I got stupid and became careless. I stopped caring about the people my sexual addiction was affecting. He was the last guy I was with before I got into porn. 

I don't regret every guy I've been with. There are a few of them and that's only because it didn't directly lead to my evolution. I could put them on blast if I wanted to but that wouldn't be kind of me... But I will say about the guys I have regretted it with... They all had small dicks. And to those guys; I am speaking directly to you now... I hope you know you can never satisfy a woman with your dick ;)

Well. Here's to the end of "A Year in Review Part 1: Sexuality" 🍻

Xoxo,
Callie L Klein


Thursday, May 12, 2016

Why and How I Entered the Industry

Whenever I'm asked in interviews why I got into porn I usually give a quick answer to one of the reasons I did- despite me having several reasons I got into it. The reasons I entered the industry is very complicated. I didn't wake up thinking, "I really want to be a porn star". No, of course not. It was a gradual thought process that took several months. And for the first time I'm going to open up about it. The full story of why I decided to do porn.

I grew up with my fathers parents who were very religious- they were Jehovah Witnesses. So I taught very early on to be ashamed of my sexuality and to not be promiscuous and most definitely not have sex before marriage. I deeply believed that for years. I thought I had some righteous meaning behind holding my v-card out even though I was sexually charged at an early age. So throughout my youth; I was embarrassed of who I was. I knew it was wrong to give as much blowjobs as I did and I knew it was wrong to watch porn but I did that anyways.

My dad had always encouraged me to be my authentic true self from a very early age but I was so blinded by my grandparents religious persecution that I ignored him. In fact, a small part of me hated him because of what he did for a living. He owned a gay porn company. I hated that he did it. He knew how much I hated it. I expressed my hatred vey often. And looking back I can see he reason why I hated it and that's because of the social stigma attached to porn- parents didn't want me their children going over to my dads house for play dates because they thought he was a pedophile- which he isn't. I blamed my dad for my social leprosy.

When I was 13; I came across some of my dads Porno DVDs that he produced and directed. I watched it and soon I was addicted to watching porn. I surfed he Internet for it everyday and I had my favorite genre and favorite pornstars. I channeled the sexual energy I got from watching porn into my blowjobs. And soon I was giving really good head. And then I started sexting pictures of myself. I wanted someone to want my body the way I could see the male talent want the girl talents body in porn. Eventually I got over my dad owning a porn company- I didn't stop viewing it the way society did though. I still thought it was evil and ruined lives so I vowed I would never do porn. Then I turned 18.

 I joined a fetish website called, FetLife, and I became really comfortable with advertising the sexuality I had contained for so long. I was approached by a company called, Pink-Cuffs, to do a fetish shoot and then another company asked me to do a rope bondage shoot. It was easy money and I only had to get slightly naked. I didn't even have to have sex with anyone or myself. After both of those shoots I was directed towards a cam studio located in Arizona from the owner of Pink-Cuffs. I was curious about cammodeling so I agreed to meet with the female owner of the studio. The studio is called "PulpVixens". I met with the owner and a week later I was camming. I love camming- it was fun! I could touch myself for other people's pleasure and make good money! I did camming for a little bit. I went up to visit my mom in Washington and that's when I stopped. I just wasn't interested in continuing it anymore. I was starting to think about doing porn.

I was still unsure about it so I called my dad. We discussed it for HOURS. He didn't think it was the best decision for me at first but he said he had no place to judge me and that I was an adult. He told me I should know all the possible consequences first before I decided to do anything. He told me to watch "Hot Girls Wanted" and "After Porn Ends" so I did. Several times actually. And I watched other documentaries on the industry. I spent over a month researching. And during that month I was contacted by Kendra Lust. We talked on the phone and she was super cool and sweet- I had been communicating with other agents but I really loved the vision Kendra had. (I eventually signed with her)

After all he research, reaching out to retired performers, talking with each person in my family individually, and asking my closest friends what they think about me doing porn I felt ready to make up my mind. And my mind said "yes" to becoming a porn star.

I went over my reasons to enter I porn with my dad and below are the reasons I had written down back in January. I hope what I said gave you an idea of my thought process and a bit of how I got into it but I will make a more in depth blog post about how I got in the industry! (:

Xoxo,
Callie L Klein

My Reasons:
1. I want to explore my sexuality
2. I want to become someone different
3. I want to become more brave
4. I want to be free
5. I get to travel
6. I get to have sex with hot people
7. I have sex with myself, I may just have sex with others on camera
8. I have no shame

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

I am Normal...(?)

Normalcy. What is it? Wel Webster Dictionary defines it as, "'usual or ordinary: not strange.'" But I'm still not sure what exactly it means with me. Am I normal?
But I do know that I am your everyday girl next door. I like to listen to music, shop and talk about boys, hang out with my friends, and smoke. I have ambitions and dreams. I have goals that I try and meet everyday. I like to dance with my headphones in my ear and snuggle into my bed with a good book at night.

My whole life is not porn.

I have two lives. One is Callie the other is me. And this blog is supposed to be me- whoever that is. This isn't my Callie Klein persona. Yes, the blog is called Callie Cane Land and yes the blog is registered to Callie Klein. But. I want to be my true authentic self because at the end of the day; I don't want one life to dominate the other. I want them to coexist somewhat separately. I try and make myself as a person transform into Callie fluidly. We both like the same things and do the same things but Callie is different. She takes more risks and she's more brave. I'm not so sure I am.

I know who I am. I'm learning who Callie is. And maybe both of us will combine.

I think I'm normal. But...

Me as a person is a sexual being- like every 18 year old but that doesn't necessarily mean that I want dick or tang every second. Sometimes I rather just crash on my couch in my pjs, wrapped up in a blanket, and a large box of pizza sitting on my right and a bag of chips on my left, and Netflix or Hulu on my TV screen. Sometimes I wanna chill with my cat babies and other times I want to go to the library. I'm your typical American girl. The only thing that makes me different is that I do porn. And I love porn but it doesn't define me. Being me defines me. So I hope you guys enjoy the journey of my blog from me- the girl behind Callie Klein.

Xoxo,
Callie L Klein

Kink Shoot

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Saturday, May 7, 2016

Burning the Mary

I am a big stoner. I love smoking and getting high. It makes me feel warm, fuzzy, and completely relaxed. Also having sex when your high is AMAZING. I highly recommend it. I also recommend to smoke marijuana legally like I do. #MedicalCard

I'm digressing - which I'll do a lot because I'm not prewriting or editing my posts. I just find them unnecessary if I'm trying to let the world know me as a person. I write the way I speak. But anyways back to the main topic of this post!

I am sitting here on my phone typing this as I lay on my couch with my headphones in and blasting "Pitt Party" by Melanie Martinez. I'm completely relaxed and I feel warm despite the house being at a freezing 62 degrees (my mom is a polar bear in disguise) and the sole reason is because I just took a fat bong ripe. So I'm pretty stoned. Lol so...

Xoxo,
Callie L Klein

P.S. Y'all should check out my google plus profile. I made it very cheeky

AVN Network/Magazine

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BlowBangGirls

WARNING: NSFW POST! 18+ ONLY!!!! Below is content that may unsuitable for readers and can be offensive. Read and look at your own willingness...

BlowBangGirls was the 2nd company to shoot me. It was also my very first blowbang (sucking several dicks at one time) and its also the video that's up on PornHub lol but anyways; BlowBangGirls is run by an amazing husband and wife named Rob and Dawn Marie- both who have a special place in my heart. So since I wrote something about Buzz Aziani; I thought it be nice to write about the other guy who believed in me since day 1.

Back in early January; I was on FetLife (fetish website) and came across Rob's profile and in his bio it said that he shoots porn. I had been trying to get in the industry for a little bit but I didn't have any connections or know anyone so I had difficulty doing so. But now that I found a LOCAL porn producer/director I could possibly do porn now. So I messaged him about doing a shoot to which he responded and called me the next day. He was at the AVN (Adult Video News) Expo and Award Show (AVN Award Show is the Oscars for porn) and we chitchatted about my future as a "pornstar" and he offered to help me build my brand a little bit- which I was extremely excited about because I had only been doing cammodeling so my brand was just developing and I really wanted to expand it. Wet set up a few shoots for when I came back to AZ from WA.

When I came back to AZ; Rob and I talked some more. He really wanted me to be positive about doing this and I was ready for whatever consequences that could come my way- I did my research and I talked with my family about it. I told Rob this and then wee had my first solo shoot which consisted of 3 different scenes (all of which are up on his website) and it was really, really fun! I had already been used to just having sex with myself on camera but that was via webcam- I had never filmed myself masturbating.

Rob thought I did a good job so he offered me two more shoot but this time with real live cocks. I said yes, of course! And the next week I had already done my shoot with Buzz so I had some idea of what to expect and I loved it. I loved all the cocks in my mouth and all of the sexy facials I got. I loved swallowing the cum too! I'm a self proclaimed cum slut lol

Rob really believed I was going to become a big name in porn since the first time we talked. He really helped launch Callie Klein's career ass a pornstar. He's incredible- he has done so much for me which I am extremely grateful for. He's a great friend to have! I owe whatever success I have to him (as well as Buzz) I cant wait for future shoots! I've been needing a good blowbang!

xoxo,

Callie L Klein

P.S. Rob and Dawn Marie both have twitters! Follow them!
Rob: @DreamnetRob and @BlowBangGirls
Dawn Marie: @DawnMariesDream

Below are pics of my first blowbang BTS (behind the scenes) and pics of Rob and I at lunch after my blowbang shoot!



LOL! Dawn Marie took this pic of us and IDK what Rob was doing but his eyes are closed!


LOVE this pic of us <3


BTS of me sucking dick for BlowBangGirls. 

Friday, May 6, 2016

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Blowjobs

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First Post

I have rewritten this post over 20 times because I have had horrible writers block. Its been miserable trying to think of something clever and cheeky or something meaningful and deep but I just decided on saying hello and giving a quick introduction. Below I have listed 5 facts about myself. Each fact will be in a more detailed post in the near future... So... Here they are.

1) My father owns a gay porn company
2) I am 18 and live in Arizona with my 6 other roommates
3) I am in college studying premed
4) One word: stoner
5) I am a porn star

I'm going to leave it at that....

xoxo,
Callie L Klein